Psychotherapy

In my work as a therapist, I have found that grief often sits beneath many of the symptoms that bring people to therapy.

 

While grief and loss are inherently human, grief is rarely discussed. Even the acknowledgment of grief is often discouraged. As a culture we have become so skilled at avoiding grief that we can easily forget those feelings even exist.

 

Until grief painfully pokes at us in the forms of recurring or intrusive thoughts, excessive worry, stomach upset, body tension, over eating, over working, excess sleep or insomnia, fatigue, irritability, impatience, anxiety or depression.

 

Here are just a few types of grief: 

 

Delayed Grief 

Grief we do not feel in the moment because it’s not safe

or we are just trying to get by (e.g. chronic illness, life threatening condition, sudden accident, serving in role of on-going caregiver).

 

Disenfranchised Grief

When we judge or minimize grief (e.g. mental or physical illness, divorce, death by suicide, incarceration, police violence, abortion).

 

Ambiguous Grief            

Grief that is not readily evident (e.g. brain injury, chronic illness, miscarriage).

 

Complicated Grief

Grief when painful emotions of loss do not lessen over time (this could apply to any loss). 

 

Cumulative Grief            

Grief in response to multiple losses (e.g. illness, injury, death and/or other losses all occurring in close succession).

 

Secondary Grief

Grief related to the other losses that accompany an initial loss (e.g. activities or community that come to an end after a loss such as in retirement, divorce, loss of a partner, a degenerative or chronic illness, or cognitive and/or physical decline).

 

Collective Grief            

Grief felt by a group about an event, a public figure, or some ideal (e.g. death of a leader, grief after terrorism that may also include the loss of ideals or a sense of safety).

 

Traumatic Grief            

Grief that is in sudden, overwhelming, and unexpected (e.g. sudden injury, loss of a limb, an assault, physical attack, or shooting, the loss of a child, the diagnosis of a life threatening or terminal illness, or the perception of any loss as being sudden, overwhelming, unexpected and/or lethal). 

 

Anticipatory Grief            

Grief that comes before a death or loss (e.g. with dementia, advanced illness or mental and/or physical decline).

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There is not one way to grieve. The grieving process is as unique as the person that is grieving and the loss that is being grieved. 

 

Grief can demand our attention at ANY time, without prompting.

“See me, hear me, tend to me!”

 

Grief longs to be seen, heard, and felt, but not fixed. 

 

Grief demands time and space, and acceptance.

 

Nevertheless, It is quite common for people to feel reluctance and/or fear about approaching their grief. Over the last 25 years I have developed a highly individualized approach to come along side clients to help them compassionately witness and process their grief. With enough time, space, presence, and companionship, I have found that grief can and will evolve into something tender and transformative. Clients find their experience to be relieving, liberating, meaningful and empowering.